LAMEBRAIN

I have never really shared this with anybody before except my puppets, but I think this guy is so entertaining I had to post it. Below is a phone call I received just the other day...I hope you find is as amusing as I did, I laughed my ass off.

“Yeah, hey, uh… Scot…I don’t know…( cuhh, disgusted sound) who you think you are but I think you need to re-evaluate how you approach customers,…um, (cuhh) I’ve been getting calls from customers that I guess that talk to you and… you’re kinda short with them and… you know I don’t know where you come from man, I watched that silly thing on youtube and I get the impression, that you… um… think you’re all together y’know dealin’ with the people and the customer but I don’t think you know anything about that anymore I think you lost touch with that… uh you need to get a better grasp, uh uh (voice getting more angry and abrupt) I’ve gotten three or four calls from people…n’ ..y’know you’re pretty short with them man ‘n uh I don’t know where your coming from, I dunno uh I mean I’ve been painting windows for thirty seven years, I , I y’know and I been all over the other states other than just Oregon I never seen anybody act so weird with the other customers…you gotta learn a little more to be patient and understanding …um….I don’t mind doing people you don’t want, but then again I don’t like the idea of you treating them really badly…so do a val…uh, re-evaluation check on yourself bud, and, uh…y’know maybe down the road things will get better for uh… for the customers out there who wanna deal with ya.”

I am well aquainted with this person and know his name. I don’t want to mention his real name so let’s just call him Lamebrain.
Naturally Lamebrain was not man enough to leave his name or number. However my cell recorded his phone # and I called him. When he answered the phone I asked him if he was a window painter, she said yes. I also asked him if his name was Lamebrain and he again said yes….I said thanks and hung up. I just wanted to verify it was him.

Lamebrain has been harassing me for years with fake phone calls and telling lies to my customers for years. I have so many stories going back to 1996. Don’t be alarmed for my sake because I actually find Lamebrain very amusing, and, he actually gets me business by talking about me. Unfortunately for Lamebrain the people he talks to in most cases are not lamebrains and can see his work and his manner are both of substandard quality. One client expressed “my four year old daughter could do better” Once he told a client he went to art school with me and knows all my methods. Another client stated that he got furious because they did not pay him on the spot after painting windows, the manager that usually signs the checks was not in, Lamebrain got so mad he scraped off the window, they told me this right before going with me. I have been doing window splashes fulltime in Portland for 23 years I have built an amazing clientele that love me and my work.I love my job and enjoy working for the people I work for, if I don’t like someone I don’t work for them long. I try to cultivate clientele that are nice, easy to work with and appreciate what I do. People that treat me with disrespect or talk down to me I send to Lamebrain, and as he said he doesn’t mind doing people I don’t want to do. Like attracts like and I figure they deserve each other . So it’s perfect relationship between Lamebrain and myself, one which will continue for years.

If for somehow someway Lamebrain gets a hold of this I just want to say to him personally,

Keep up the good work and thanks for all the business Lamebrain,

Sincerely,
Scot”Extremo the Clown” Campbell

p.s. Also Lamebrain I would stay away from youtube if I was you…it’s might enhance your intellect .

p.s.p.s. another thing Lamebrain...I know you might not understand this but...

what do you expect? I AM A FREAKIN" CLOWN!!!!!

In the blood

Yes window painting is in this clowns blood...actually It's been so long since I did anythiing on these blogs I forgot how to upload photos...so if you see my deplorable....uh, oops! I mean adorable, mug then I succeeded

(Part 2) MY BORING BIRTHDAY

Last we talked about some of the interesting folks I encountered while visiting the lovely little town of Boring Oregon. So far the local inhabitants were quite pleasant. I was finishing up the job and as I was putting my paint and supplies away... I wondered to my clowny wowny self, "Is this the complete picture? Is there more than meets the eye? Does Boring, Oregon have a dark side?" Just then a couple of what appeared to be Boring terrorists skidded up to me on their bicycles.


I was frightened to say the least, especially for the safety of Spanky. So it's true! In addition to the friendly freedom loving folks of Boring there appears to also be a delinquent Al Qaeda undercurrent popular among their youth. I packed up immediately and got out of there pronto. They chased me but gave up shortly thereafter. As I was leaving Boring I decided to stop to visit the little clown room. I found a place to go which will remained unnamed to protect the innocent. I had to get the key from the proprietor. It was an odd place and there was mud right before the door which was sunken down.
It all seemed a bit unusual to me but at my age, when you gotta go, you gotta go...and all that diet pepsi earlier didn't help matters. The key seemed stuck but the door finally creaked open. It was very dank and dark inside... and was not 100% functional either.
I heard faint singing, I don't know if it was a radio or not, it kind of sounded like an old phonograph player. Then I heard a deep muffled voice, a clapping sound, then silence. It was creepy.


Yes it was creepy allright! I looked back one more time as I was leaving and I heard a wooshing sound and felt a cold gust of air, I WAS OUT OF THERE!!!! I was glad and relieved of couse to be leaving. As I was heading towards the road back home...

I realized to myself that my Boring birthday was not boring at all. It was an exciting Extremo the Clown kind of experience and was quite unusual as usual! ha ha ha! Maybe sometime I will tell you about the time I made an Extremo the Clown head out of a cardboard box and paid these kids to get inside and scare the traffic...See you later, same Extremo time, same Extremo channel.

MY BORING BIRTHDAY

Well today was my birthday. I was born in Huntington Park, California on the same exact date as famous eighties rocker Billy Idol. Yes it was Nov. 30th 1955. Now one would think I would take the day off on my birthday, but not this ol' clown, I typically work on my birthday due to all the holiday orders...and this year was no different. In this edition of my blog I want to tell you about my Boring birthday. That's right! It was very boring. Because you see, I spent the day IN... Boring...Boring, Oregon. At first when I drove into Boring, it appeared everything was Boring.

Some places were not only boring, but were also quite square...

Now at first glance and a quick drive-through of the lovely town of Boring, Oregon one might surmise that it is actually a very boring place. But do not be fooled by the name! It is quite the little town with some very interesting people, places and things. For one, I was there, ha ha ha! The one and only Extremo the Clown!

It was time to break out the speakers and put on some funky disco music and get the party started! woo hoo!!

After all it was my birthday and I was determined to have an exciting time of it!

I was there to paint for a local motorcyle shop so I got my paints out and got to it.

...and I thought Boring was going to be boring, boy I was thankful Boring was turning out to be quite fun... paintin' puppets and passerbys made it more than pleasing!

...yes the local people were quite friendly, the guy down at the corner gas station gave me a free Pepsi due to the fact it was my special birthday day.

Here's some fine folks that stopped by to take a gander at the Never Never van in progress and hang with Spanky my chimp. They weren't boring at all, in fact, they were quite interesting and entertaining in their own right. (to be continued)

Pigs and Paddycake

Well it's monday! I like mondays, heck I like most days actually, well except punch a clown day. Anyway, today was much like most days in the world of ol' Extremo the Clown. Driving, singing, playing with Spanky and paintin'. Downtown Portland was my destination on this lovely November day. The weather was outstanding, albeit a little on the chilly side. After drivin' and clownin' a bit I arrived safely at Uncle Wally's BBQ. I have worked for Uncle Wally for the past few years at his Wilsonville location. Kitty corner to the job site were many construction workers so in addition to the typical somewhat busy streets of downtown Portland I had a fixed audience. There was nothing particulary unusual about todays job, just the typical goofin' and paintin' and dancing around. Uncle Wally asked if I would work on his van, I told him about cartatz.com (commercial plug) he's going to check it out. The job took pretty much most of the day, well I didn't get there until noon actually but I did work into the dark a little, it gets dark around 4:45 here this time of year.

When Uncle Wally gave me the check for my work he threw in some tasty goodies for me to go.

After I got home I went out into my studio. I am finishing up a piece for a show in Atlanta, Georgia. It's for a group exhibit with a bedtime stories theme. Here is the poem to my piece which is a latex casting from an original sculpture.

PADDYCAKE PADDYCAKE NIGHTMARE CLOWN

UNDER THE BED AS YOU LAY DOWN

HE LIES SO QUIET HE TASTES YOUR FEAR

IS THIS THE NIGHT HE WILL APPEAR?

Sorry to rush off but I need to package this art up and ship it tommorrow....see you next time...and have a good night!

EXTREMO